[31 Jan 2005|03:11am] yes i miss being a kid. a cut-up-knee-kid with dirt behind his ears and loose maroon sweat pants and matted hair. because i was happy always. and it seems like moments most happiest are simple and child-like, even if they seem more grown-up and mature and watch your words like a magicians hands. "you make me feel young again" and that's why i laugh for no good reason. because i'm pure and there isn't a reason not to simply because i can and i will. 1 x

[22 Jan 2005|08:07am] "fucking stay the hell away from things you know nothing about." much love, chris. 2 x

[14 Jan 2005|11:55am] i don't know how to make links: www.livejournal.com/users/theoceanisbig 1 x

[28 Dec 2004|12:06pm] the trees look angry and itchy and i'm sweating even though i feel very cold in my bones. my temperature is high because i caught something in santa barbara, it must have been the weather because i was practically shoving myself away from people and sitting on those old wood and green chairs towards the back walls of my aunt's house and standing next to porch doors so that i could slip outside when it was getting harder to smile and mean it. there was this black dog, daisy i think the name was, in the room, or basement i was sleeping in that kept me company and listened to the sound of strings and wind chimes and the drunken - rambling pouring from the red marker and then from my mouth when it was read out loud. she had flees and i let her sleep next to me just because i probably have something like them somewhere in me. i think it was on the second day that i realised my jaw does this terrible oafish idea by itself when i am completely swimming and in my brain, it sort of hangs limp and it makes my teeth look bigger, sort of like the mouth on that giant in jack and the bean stock. i thought i should tape my lips so they can't open or i should stop getting locked in the attic and come back to the living room and i can remember how to love and talk and smile with everything and at everything and it'll be sweet and not so sour because i also realised i'm not important enough for the world to not like me. i don't think i have bad luck, i guess what happens is coming to me and what happens just is, and that's the closure. 2 x

[24 Dec 2004|11:37pm] $420 christmas money i think it speaks for itself 4 x

[18 Dec 2004|12:29am] my parents only kiss during commercials 2 x

[13 Dec 2004|12:39pm] when people are asked to repeat themselves the second time around it's always very loud and sharp sounding, like they're saying it in half of the time with half of the patience. today i'm afraid my mother is starting to lose her mind and i worry about her and my father because all they have is each other. they buy too many things they won't need and i think they forget about what they really need in the mess of living the way they do. i wrapped presents for rachel today because it's her birthday and i came to the conclusion that i'm terrible at wrapping presents. we're going to see life aquatic tonight at the grove, with her sister and her soon-to-be husband. i'm very excited. i don't think elliott smith killed himself. forks and spaghetti remind me of sex. bye! 3 x

[02 Dec 2004|03:11am] PEANUT. PEANUT LIKES BUTTER. BUTTER LIKES JELLY. PEANUT IS JEALOUS OF JELLY. (repeat times infinity.) 2 x

[22 Nov 2004|12:36am] i could love the world if i was completely detached so many strings cut them falling i need help. 4 x

[18 Nov 2004|05:54pm] everybody is always saying 'know yourself know yourself' i don't really think i want to know myself because i think i'm too afraid too. i think too much about it, i think so much about it that i'm not really sure if its me or not, or if it's just something i tried really hard to say or figure out and then i think once it's done and out, it's not even something i really meant to begin with. today i mustve had something annoying on my face because everybody looked really annoyed. sentences that start with today are usually very self-centered. today wasn't self-centered, today is my mom's birthday i was up all night trying to remember how to play happy birthday and now i remember and i'm going to play it and sing like a man with no house and a bad voice might sing marry had a little lamb for a few cents i wonder where vivian is. this entry reminds me of eighth grade, i like it for the sake of that; current music - limp bizkit 2 x

[17 Nov 2004|02:15am] sleep on your side to bandage the wounds and keep your tongue at your throat to keep all those words from spilling all over you x

[04 Nov 2004|01:26am] Going witch-hunting around Rome, birth to Republic, building 198(200)4. Freedom is money, freedom is safety, freedom is heterosexual, freedom is nine to five, freedom is what we say it is. Bravery as weapons built on purple mountains. Home land stretches across the world, connected by string, and the blood of war-hero's, like you and me. The industry strives, politicians defial God. Every the Man for himself, everyone else just compiles his pedestal, as we carry him around. 2 x

[01 Nov 2004|11:53pm] I guess it makes you feel like a fucking rockstar. 3 x

[18 Oct 2004|12:12am] hey baby i'm into you, yeah baby. yeah. oh, yeah. baby. yeah. 1 x

[17 Oct 2004|02:37am] tomorrow it rains and i love you. x

[09 Oct 2004|12:40pm] you can embellish a mannequin to death, but it'll never be somebody money money cars clothes sex sells; tag, you're it. 1 x

[02 Oct 2004|12:16am] So, user: and_statistics stole my entire journal, layout & entries and all. So it's all friends only. 12 x

[01 Sep 2004|12:31pm] all we do is complain, it's sad. 14 x

[19 Aug 2004|02:30pm] My God, My gut It's over. 1 x

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]